As graduation fast approaches, it has left me in deep contemplation about some of the things I consider to be truths in college that just might not work in the real world.
- Are Febreezed clothes still clean clothes?
One of the Clemson orientation ambassadors told that to every incoming Clemson freshmen, and I have found it to be a universal law amongst my collegiate peers.
- Is “Netflix and chill” still an acceptable use of my evening?
College students know that the only alternative to a night of frantic studying or irresponsible partying is a night of Netflix binging.
- Do you still pre-game parties?
Everything is college is cause for a pre-game, but my mother did not even understand the term. To “pre-game” is to have a pre-party to get pre-drunk for the real party. In fact, you can pre-game the pre-game if you want to get really crazy. Somehow, I cannot imagine pre-gaming an office party, and yet, to tolerate co-workers, I might bring this tradition with me.
- Speaking of alcohol, when exactly is it appropriate to have a drink?
No matter the day of the week or even the time of the day, there is always someone drinking in a college town. In fact, it isn’t even frowned upon to have a beer alone in the bar at 1pm in a college town. Where do the lines of decency lie in the real world?
- Can I still wear XL t-shirts over my athletic bottoms?
Obviously, I will have to stop this trend during the day when I’m at work, but I am hoping it is still acceptable attire to the grocery store.
- Will other adults judge me if I blow my budget and am subsisting off of rice and easy mac?
Sometimes, you just really need the latest function t-shirt. Or a bottle of wine. Or tickets to the concert. Is it okay to pick one of these things over buying groceries for the rest of the month anymore?
- Can I continue to sleep on my friend’s couch or will I have to start buying hotel rooms when I visit?
In college, it is perfectly acceptable to go to visit a friend at another university and bring along your 8 best friends to sleep on all of the available space in the apartment. In the real world, adults seem to buy hotels when they visit other adults. This seems like an expense I want to avoid.
- When am I too old for my parents’ insurance?
Really, I don’t even know how to begin figuring insurance out.
- Also, when am I too old to be on my parents’ cell phone plan?
Although I have been insisting I need unlimited texting, calling, and data plans, I will have to learn to make do with the bare minimum when this bill falls into my lap.
- Can I continue to sorority “craft” my wall art?
All of my friends have walls decked in homemade canvases, but these do not seem to be found on adult walls. Their replacements look expensive.
As concerning as I find all of these questions, I have just accepted a cooperative education opportunity, which means I’ve successfully given myself another semester (and football season) here in God’s country! Here’s to continually trying to find ways to avoid graduation. May we stay forever young!